More SR-72

From Wired's Danger Room comes this let down...

...the story's assertion that the plane was being designed to go "Mach 6." That's way, way, way faster than anything the Air Force has in its inventory -- about double what the original, ultra-speedy Blackbird could do. Yeah, a Darpa-funded vehicle briefly hit Mach 10 the other day; but that was after it was launched into space, and came falling back to Earth. The X-51 hypersonic cruise missile is on track for a Mach 5 flight test in '09. But it hasn't flown, yet. And controlling a plane is a lot harder than controlling a missile.
"The most advanced things we've got are still just engines sitting in a wind tunnel," the source said. What's being reported as the SR-72 "is not in the realm of science fiction. But it's close."
Now, Darpa does have a hypersonic program called "Blackswift" that, according to a military press release, is aiming towards a "flight demonstration vehicle... powered by a combination turbine engine and ramjet, an all-in-one power plant. The turbine engine accelerates the vehicle to around Mach 3 before the ramjet takes over and boosts the vehicle up to Mach 6." That's not entirely dissimilar to what's described as the "SR-72."
But here's the thing: according to that Defense News story, the new plane was being developed for the Air Force, right? Trouble is, the Air Force hasn't put any money into the project. There have been some talks, sure. But it's all "pre-decisional," our source says.

Is it too much to ask to leave us with our illusions? I mean first the pin-ups in our favorite men's magazines have to tell us about their boyfriends/husbands and now you have to tell us that these airplanes really don't exisit.

Yeah, I knew that...just like I knew all along I wasn't going to bag Eva Longoria...but it was nice to have that illusion for even a brief moment.

THANKS for runining it for me there Mr. Reality...JEEZE...could you please be more of a buzz kill? Next thing you know you'll be telling me there is no Santa Claus.

THANK GOD...

...she never returned my calls.

Longoria denies Parker bachelor party
From United Press International
January 02, 2007 5:58 PM EST
LOS ANGELES, Jan 2, 2007 (UPI via COMTEX) -- A friend of U.S. actress Eva Longoria has claimed that the "Desperate Housewives" star is denying her fiancé, NBA star Tony Parker, a bachelor party.

The unidentified friend of Longoria confided to In Touch Weekly that the 31-year-old actress has forbid the San Antonio Spurs star the chance to enjoy a bachelor party before their upcoming wedding.

"Eva thinks letting men have bachelor parties is just asking for trouble," the friend claimed.

The celebrity couple revealed their engagement on Nov. 30, 2006, prompting friends and teammates of the 24-year-old basketball player to begin plans for an extravagant bachelor party.

URL: www.upi.com

Can anyone else see where this "marriage" is going? Nice "friend" she has there by the way.

I haven't posted about Eva in a while...so I thought I'd rectify that...you're welcome.

Now She Has A Gun!

Eva's back and she's pimping her new movie...she also is quite the shot (if we take her word for it) From NEWSWEEK

Newsweek
May 1, 2006 issue - Q&A: Eva Longoria
That desperate housewife Eva Longoria is trading in her yoga mat for a gun in "The Sentinel." As her hair was being done, she chatted with NEWSWEEK's Nicki Gostin.

I heard you're a really good shot.
I grew up on a ranch, and my dad educated us really early about guns. We've been target-shooting since I was 5. We had boxes of bull's-eye paper.

Did you hunt and skin animals?
Yeah, but I don't want to talk about that too much because I've gotten calls from PETA. It's part of my upbringing. We didn't do it for cruelty. That's how we had dinner! We skinned our dinner.

So you really are a good shot.
Yes, I shot better than 90 percent of the police officers in the country. When we did Secret Service training, all my shots were dead on. Kiefer's were a little spread out, and Michael Douglas's were not even on the paper. They were everywhere.


I didn't know there was some master database that one could go to so actors could quantify their firearms expertise. I'm sure someone told her this to suck up, although I have no trouble believing she shot better than the guys...someone is going to have a cow that she bested "Jack Bauer". Next thing you know she'll be shooting in competition with the folks at the Texican Tattler...but don't hold your breath.

She's at it AGAIN!?!

FRIDAY 21 APRIL UPDATE!!: The evilness of this woman's plan has now become apparent to me...she has a movie coming out today...and I've have fallen for this sham. I feel so USED. The shame of it all.

Eva is at IT again!

Yes she's a beauty, but Longoria has brains too (NO SHIT?!?...And I thought she had been lobotomized)
Mon Apr 17, 2006 08:19 AM ET


By Bob Tourtellotte
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Eva Longoria is annoyed. The Latina beauty on hit television show "Desperate Housewives" is bugged by all the newspaper, magazine and Web gossip about her sex life when there are more important issues to think about.

She is as comfortable talking about U.S. immigration policy and the plight of migrant farm workers as she is having her bikini-clad body on a mega-sized magazine cover spread out in the Nevada desert so that it can be seen from outer space.

Longoria, 31, is a beauty, but her brain is big, too and she wants folks to know it. So when the media focuses on her sex life with boyfriend Tony Parker, as happened last month, Longoria gets irritated. (Not nearly as irritated as us...or I would bet Mr. Parker after you decided to spew about your "relationship")

Once again for all those aspiring models and actresses out there...when someone gives you a bikini (see picture above) and pays you to appear in a magazine...they aren't paying you for your intellect. It's nice that you're smart and all...but frankly the readers of MAXIM or STUFF could give a rats ass about your views on illegal immigration (by the way GWB agrees with your point of view you twit...quit parroting the party line it doesn't really support your smart person act).

So try and realize how the gravy train works...we aren't interested in what you think we just want to look at your (insert favorite body part here). You can talk about how much you love puppies, wild flowers etc. and how hot you find men in uniform...other than that keep your big yap shut...your career will thank me for it.

Maxim Ain't Got Nothing On The First Team

Renowned AAFES P0rn magazine, MAXIM is celebrating its 100th issue by placing a giant version of the magazine cover in the Nevada desert (see below) H/T Texan Tattler



As you can see it features Texan and attention whore Eva Longoria (added bonus there is now a picture of Eva available that is as big as her ego). Maxim bills this stunt as the first advertisement visible from space....well the 1st CAV Division pulled a stunt like that 2 years ago (see below) but we didn't use an over hyped semi clad actress of marginal talent we used the division patch so it went un-noticed.

Off the Net

To all you folks who read this spot from time to time, I'll be away on business for a while and won't be able to add new posts. I'll post some new stuff as soon as I can, but in the meantime please entertain yourself by surfing the net for the latest Eva Longoria sighting.

Too Much Information

Alright now she's gone too far...this story is from The Defamer

When JV Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria was non-grievously bonked on her pretty noggin by a section of pipe last week, we sheepishly admit that our first thought was not, “Wow, we hope that she’s OK and makes a speedy, heroic return to work,” but “Hey, how much hair does she have on her ladyflower?” Page Six sets our minds at ease:

DESPERATE housewife Eva Longoria says she only discovered her sexual self after she got some pruning done in an intimate area. “It was when I was 25 or 26,” the star, 30, told the Mirror in London. “I never waxed or really paid attention to that area. It opened the door to a whole new sexual side of me. Getting in touch with your inner sex goddess would begin with the Brazilian wax.”
A hearty high-five to Longoria’s quick-thinking publicist, who’s done an admirable job keeping her name in the press to offset all the Emmy attention her co-stars are receiving. An item about her client’s bikini area is a welcome change of pace, and a nice gossip-sheet placeholder until the next time she’s photographed leaving a club holding hands with a B-lister she’s not actually sleeping with.

That story wasn't too bad when you compaire it with this...

Actress Eva Longoriacompare is so in love with her boyfriend Tony Parker, she has had his initials tattooed in an intimate area of her body.

The "Desperate Housewives" star, 30, started dating the San Antonio Spurs basketball ace after ending her on/off relationship with 'N Sync hunk JC Chasez in January.

Longoria enthuses, "You can see three of my tattoos, they're all on public display, but the one that has Tony's initials is only seen by him.

"I'm not saying where it is -- but let's just say he gets to view it on a very regular basis!"

So when they break up is she going to tell the next guy that "TP" stands for, "Tight...aw never mind that was too easy.

Now I know I must accept responsibility for this occuring...as you might recall I said in the memo to scantly clad actresses that we wanted more wanton slut and less thinking woman. EVA A LITTLE BIT GOES A LONG WAY...enough with the cootch stories, too much more of this and you'll be appearing as a featured dancer at the Doll House in Killeen. I'm sorry folks I just can't control her anymore.

For all you gun nuts here's another story:

I think it's BS but here ya' go...
Longoria an Experienced Hunter
"Desperate Housewives" actress Eva Longoria has unveiled a hidden skill -- she's highly experienced at shooting and skinning animals.

The dainty beauty, who grew up in San Antonio, Texas, often went out on the range with her family at the end of each school week for lessons on how to live off the land.

She says, "(I was) hunting with my dad since I was 6. I still go with him to this day.

"I can handle a gun. Hello? Yes. I could skin a deer, I could skin a pig. I can pluck a quail -- you name it, I've done it. A pioneer woman."

That's MORE like it...

As long time visitors to this spot may recall, in a July article entitled "A Memo to Scantly Clad Actresses", I ripped into Eva Longoria for her vapid useless political ramblings contained in what should have been an otherwise useful semi nude photo spread in one of the finer "mens" magazines also known as "AAFES Porn" (FHM, Maxim, Stuff...or any magazine that shows "almost" nekid women and is therefore acceptable to the powers that be in the sandier places in the world).

Her handlers have obviously seen the folly of letting her ramble on without guidance...what follows is what she should have told us the first time.

Eva Longoria

Where you’ve seen her:
The former Miss Corpus Christi earned her acting chops on the daytime soap The Young and the Restless and went on to star in the Emmy Award–winning L.A. Dragnet. She now stars in ABC's sexy series Desperate Housewives as cradle-robbing temptress Gabrielle Solis.

Daily buzz:
“I own two (vibrators). I have the Rabbit one, and I give that as a gift all the time. To other girls. For a birthday or the like. It's the best gift to give: an orgasm. And if I can't do it for ya, I'll give you the tools to succeed! I have one Rabbit and a Pocket Rocket.”

Lo and bi-hold:
“I do wish I had that gay experience, because I think women are beautiful creatures. They're much more attractive naked than men. And it sounds like fun. Maybe I'm just holding out for the future.”

Fightin' words:
“I really love sports. There's something so sexy and masculine when guys rattle off names and statistics. I can listen to them all day long. But if a guy doesn't like boxing, that's grounds for a breakup.” (That's bull and we all know it...nice try anyway!)

You go girl...now if you would just tell them how much you dig soldiers you'd be golden...and while your at it stop telling people about your basketball player boyfriend from France. Talk about buzz-kill.

Now we can go back to our bitching about the war etc...

Eva Watch

Apparently, Hollywood is quite dangerous. One of the top stories as I turned on the news this morning was about the uber-hot,Texas born, running her mouth about stuff we really didn't want to hear Eva Longoria (whom I previously discussed HERE)

Here's the story as breathlessly reported this AM:

Thu Aug 18, 5:59 PM ET



LOS ANGELES - Eva Longoria was fine Thursday after a mishap on the set of "Desperate Housewives" sent her to the hospital to be checked, her spokeswoman said.

"Eva is doing very well today. It was a minor incident and she is ready to return to work," said spokeswoman Liza Anderson. "She's very thankful to everybody for their get-well wishes."

Construction material being used for the ABC series hit Longoria on the head, Anderson said. The actress was examined at a hospital but didn't require treatment.

She's scheduled to be back at work by Monday.

THANK THE MAKER! I now feel I can go to work and maybe sleep peacefully tonight knowing that. Well, at least she's hot.

A Memo to Scantly Clad Actresses

This goes out to Eva Longoria and any other actress out there who is posing for or wants to pose for what a friend of mine so eloquently called "AAFES Porn". You know magazines like FHM, MAXIM or STUFF.

When you do the little interview that they do with the photo spread don't mess with the fantasy. You know what I mean. We don't want to hear about your boyfriend, husband or significant other. Honestly I'm glad you're happy and everything, but I didn't walk 2 miles through a dust storm across a gravel pit in my flack jacket and helmet to stand in line behind 40 other Joes with the same magazine at the checkout to walk the 2 miles back to my trailer to read about how happy you are to be shacked up with Marice. I've got plenty of reality here in my world sister, just allow me the fantasy for once. Is that too much to ask?

Here's an example of what I mean...In a recent edition of MAXIM magazine Eva Longoria told everyone about her work in the last election for a certain candidate and her displeasure about how stupid some folks were that voted the way that they did. This was sandwiched in between the pictures of her in her underpants so you may have missed it.

Eva, do you really thing people picked up that magazine off the rack and said, "Wow look Eva Longoria is in there I wonder what she has to say about politics?" Yeah, maybe if they had been hit the head by a brick just before going to the store. In the imortal words of a senior aviation Warrant Officer, "know your audience."

We get it, you have a brain. That is great, but no one buys those magazines for their pithy political insight or social commentary.

Maybe this rant should be directed at the dork who asked the question, but hell, all you had to say was, "Are you stupid?...I'm not answering that." I mean you're smart...you've got all these opinions and stuff, you'd think you figure out that if you start running your yap about politics that you're going to piss off 50% of the population...that is if they can read that stuff while holding the magazine with one hand. But I think you get my point. Please in the future stick to how much you love puppies and how you secretly fantasize about soldiers!

Thanks for ruining the fantasy Eva!
CHEERS!