Monday, January 30, 2006

Out of the Box

I have arrived back in the Lone Star State and am currently in the process of shaking dirt out of my stuff and washing my nasty clothes and gear...thanks for sticking around through the dearth of postings.

More Soon, Eva sends her love ;-)!
Outlaw 13

Monday, January 09, 2006

Off the Net

To all you folks who read this spot from time to time, I'll be away on business for a while and won't be able to add new posts. I'll post some new stuff as soon as I can, but in the meantime please entertain yourself by surfing the net for the latest Eva Longoria sighting.

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Friday, January 06, 2006

Officers Call...Get your ass to the Club!

I don't know why I'm relating this today, other than the fact that it's Friday and in the old days I'd be at the O'Club right now...and not typing on the keyboard. Oh well.

In the bad old days on a Friday evening around 1600 HRS (that's 4:00 PM to you non 24 hr clock folks)all us bad ass Warrant Officer aviators and our not so bad ass RLO minders would retire to the Officers Club for what was called "Officers Call".

Everyone went and no body complained. For the most part no one was ever injured and fun was had by just about all. For whatever reason, this tradition has 1987 when I graduated from flight school, if you tried to get into the O'Club at 1800 on a Friday you'd be out of luck...the place would be packed, everyone officers, wives, girlfriends you name it they were there. But today, your lucky to spot a few guys sitting at the bar talking to the Korean bartender.

I saw things go on in there that are now part of legend. A group of young officers ogling the lifeguard by the pool through the huge plate glass window only to find out that she was the daughter of the BDE commander who was standing right behind them. The drunk asshole COL who was punched out by an unknown person who got away with it because the same drunk asshole got stopped by the MPs on the way home. The 82nd Airborne and the Cavalry having a brawl that almost destroyed the club and then moved into the parking lot. And then there's this story...

I was sitting at a table with tow of my buddies, one "Dana" was a OH-58 MTP (Maintenance Test Pilot) the other "Bill" was a 58 IP. At that time in my life I was a UH-1 MTP. "Bill" overheard a couple of drunk young ladies behind us talking and picked up on one of their names..."Patti".

Wanting to have a little fun at their expense "Bill" began to yell over the noise of the club, "PPPPAAAATTTTIII!"

He did this repeatedly until Patti came over to our table where she asked, "Do I know you?"

"Bill" responded with, "You don't remember?"
"Remember what?"
"What do you mean, remember what...we slept together!" (They hadn't...he didn't even know her)
"NO!" (I then overheard her friend say to her, "Did you?")
"Oh Yeah we did...I'm shocked and hurt that you don't remember...and you promised to call me."
"You guys must be Apache pilots!"
"No we fly Hueys(UH-1)"
"Hueys, nobody flies Hueys anymore!"
"Bill" is now in a furious mood turning red "I'm not going to stand here and take that from you...everyone treats us like second class citizens just because we fly Hueys and I'm sick of it."
The girl looks at me with a puzzled hurt look on her face and I say, "What can I say he's a sensitive guy."
With that the ladies beat a hasty retreat afraid that "Bill" is going to actually loose it. A few moments later the waitress brings us a pitcher and says the girls bought it for us to say they were sorry. And then "Bill's" wife showed up...but that's another story.

Now you might tell me that the reason the O'Club is dead now is that the Army has moved beyond the need for its officers to get rip roaring drunk and fight each other to let off steam. That for the most part is true...but much more than people drinking went on there...there was bonding, there was brotherhood and there was the ability to blow off steam with no retribution. I saw guys tell their COs that they were assholes and on Monday when they went back to work, it was all good. Not everyone drank either...I had plenty a coca cola there and still had a good time. While I know things and times change it's not always for the good. That O'Club was a great place sometimes and the new guys will never know what that is like and that is a crying shame. Beisdes where else are we supposed to break in our Stetsons or perform "Belt Lifts"?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Wake Up and Smell the JP8

Coming in out of the rising sun at Camp Taji...get the ham and cheese omlets ready at the DFAC!



Wednesday, January 04, 2006



Great game...great quarterback...great team!



Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Now That's Funny!

H/T to Brian for leading me to this stuff...

The Narnia Rap


The The Internet is for Porn Song




Monday, January 02, 2006

Merry New Year!

Billy Ray: Merry New Year!

Beeks: That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."

Billy Ray: Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!

Hope everyone had a good holiday back to work minions!

Things I saw on TV over the weekend....

To Hell and Back/The Green Berets double feature on AMC! I don't know why I sat there and watched them on commercial TV, I've got em both on DVD. I guess that is the height of laziness, I won't even work up the energy to get up and put a DVD in the player, I would rather sit there and watch the edited version with commercials...I'm ashamed of myself.

If I hear one more football announcer comment on the bravery or courage of some football team I'll...who am I kidding, I won't do anything. But it does bother me when they do that, and I for one wish they'd stop it.

While lying in bed recovering from a flu like illness, I was watching back to back to back episodes of "I Love the 80s" on VH-1. During a commercial break they had an ad for some type of female contraceptive device. The women who were employing said device on the commercial had this glowing blue ring around their hips, like some kind of cosmic hula hoop. Nice effect, yeah I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be sleeping with a woman who had that going one. Birth control...mission accomplished.

And I hope Texas kicks the crap out of USC...just because so many of these "experts" think they have no chance.