Sometimes You've Just Got To Laugh

Sometimes over here you have to find entertainment where you can. One of those unlikely places, for me at least, has been the Stars and Stripes letter to the editor section.

In OIF 2 I was entertained by letters written mostly by people serving in Kuwait, who complained loud and long about how they weren't being appreciated enough. Those letters were in turn answered by people serving in Iraq, who related tales of comrades being blown to bits by IEDs and how the people in Kuwait should shut the "F" up...and be happy with their lot in life.

During OIF 06-08, I'm entertained by letters demanding that soldiers who carry their M-9 pistols in a "Don Johnson" style holster, shouldn't. The reason being that soldiers who sport the "non-issue" holster are not practicing proper muzzle discipline.

Where to start...where to start?

First let me get this out of the way, "Don Johnson"? Who the hell references "Miami Vice". I wasn't a big fan of the TV show but I am fairly certain that the character being referred to did not wear a shoulder holster like the one pictured below.

For this and other fine holsters go to the Galco website

If Mr. Johnson did in fact wear a holster like that I apologize for my ignorance. In any event the use of the "Miami Vice" card to belittle a particular thing is the gun equivalent of using the word "Nazi" in a discussion about politics.

Getting back to carrying weapons, muzzle discipline etc...

If one weren't into buying a holster and wanted an issue holster for their M-9, Army aviators are issued a holster similar to the one in the picture above, but it is made out of a fire resistant material and is issued with the "Air Warrior" ensemble.

So if the Army issues it, it must be safe right? Not so fast, this is the same outfit that bought the Gamma Goat.

But actually I wonder if any of these goons who are using my oxygen and wasting electrons or God forbid even paper to complain about these holsters, has ever even held an M-9, let alone fired one?

It takes more than a few steps to fire an M-9 pistol. Demonstrator post!

ONE: Insert magazine with bullets installed into pistol. (PSSST! it's the empty well in the grip...no bullets go up and face forward...OK)

TWO: Pull back on the slide to place a round into the chamber...ready to be fired.

THREE: Place the ARM/SAFE switch to ARM (the red dot should be showing now)

FOUR: Aim and pull the trigger. (WOW that's really hard to pull the trigger...yeah that's because it's a double action trigger, it's actually easier if you pull the hammer back first and then pull the trigger otherwise it takes about twice the amount of energy to pull the trigger)

I've never ever heard of an M-9 going off by unless someone followed those steps. If I'm wrong please tell me.

Then we have the fact that on most FOBs weapons are not "supposed" to have a magazine in them and most certainly not "supposed" to have a round in the chamber. You can see the odds for a weapon being carried in a holster of that type going off are pretty much slim and none. But yet the letters appear and they are followed by rebuttals by gun aficionados who site this or that, or by soldiers who just love to stir the pot. And then finally the other day a Marine had to jump into the argument. Of course he first let us all know how the USMC was vastly superior to the Army before making his point about the holster and weapons safety in general.

On a side note, when I read that letter I could have sworn it was written by W. Thomas Smith Jr. (of The National Review's on-line column The Tank), it had all the earmarks, disdain for anything not associated with the Marines (I was embedded with the 82nd Airborne, good troops but not Marines; Sgt Joe Blow Marine graduated #1 in his Army Ranger school class, but he still prefers to be called by the tile of United States Marine or I ate some apple sauce in the DFAC at Camp Liberty but it was nowhere near as good as the apple sauce being served at Camp Falluja (I made that last one up but you get the drift)), and an overall superior haughty attitude as if he were casting pearls before swine.

Sometimes presentation is everything. Me personally I don't really care to be lectured to by someone who thinks they are better than me, who's doing all us poor Army saps a favor by letting us in on the superior Marine Corps way. God help you if you don't capitalize "marine" or you inadvertently call one of their medics, a medic. They can butcher Army terminology all day long and they don't give a care, but if one dares question the superiority of the USMC above all others Lord help you.

You are welcome to the fight brother, if you need help on the battlefield I am there for you. But give it a rest with telling everyone how great you are...or I will point my non-loaded, holstered M-9 muzzle right at you next time I'm standing in line at the DFAC.