Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Worst Episode Ever!

As promised here is my list of the most abysmal, crappy insulting military themed movies ever...as compiled by ME!

1. FIREBIRDS! This Top Gun wannabe staring Nic Cage and Tommy Lee Jones is so bad that the name of this film is forbidden to be spoken in some AH-64 units in the Army. I now know the pain that F-14 pilots feel when they watch Top Gun.

2. Navy SEALs Charlie Sheen is a Navy SEAL...need I say any more?

3. Any RAMBO movie

4. Three Kings Yeah, the Gulf War happened just like that.

5. In the Army Now or what ever that movie with Paulie Shore was called...PAULIE SHORE??!!??!! WTF! I'd rather watch Ernest Joins the Army.

6. There is a piece of shat movie that Danny Devito was in where he taught poor ignorant kids in basic training, basic english...sad to say I actually took a date to that movie. She didn't care too much for me giving a running commentary about the abysmal nature of this movie...you'd think I'd remember what it was called...whatever it's given name is, it should be changed to THE BASIC TRAINING MOVIE THAT SUCKED.

7. Courage Under Fire...Nice try, but there are a million stories out there that are worthy of being committed to film and they choose to produce this contrived piece of crap. The bombing of a tank with an aux fuel tank from a UH-1 is the craptacular highlight of this film for me. Meg Ryan as a whiny martyred CPT...you can't beat that.

8. BAT-21 I don't like this movie simply because I've read several books on this event and the movie doesn't even begin to do this thing justice. I guess this movie really wasn't that bad...it was just a great disappointment to me, it could have been so much better.

9. Over There...yeah I know it WAS a TV show. Thank the maker it was CXL...it gives crappy TV a bad name.

Movies I loved when I was a kid, but now I wonder WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?
Where Eagles Dare, A Bridge Too Far, The Guns of Navarone and The Final Countdown.

I admit that a lot of these movies are just cheesy and not necessarily suck-ass...what are your nominations?

UPDATE: Apparently I should have included "Jarhead" in there...for a review of said film go to Froggy Ruminations and save yourself a few bucks if you were thinking about going to see it.

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