There's A Reason I Post This Picture

I mean besides the obvious.

I saw this picture posted this morning on another website, where the statement "I can't quite make out the writing" was made. I know it was news to me too, but if you look really close on the young lady's shirt is an ad for Fashion TV.


Fashion TV! I know Fashion TV! Fashion TV is what the TV was tuned to in the TOC during OIF 2 (2004-05)...especially around 0700 Iraq local time. It seems that back then (don't know about their current schedule, as I now have easier access to seeing scantly clad women) during the seven o'clock hour they would show what was quaintly called "The Lingerie Hour", and by lingerie I mean that in the loosest sense of the word. A better title would have been The Topless, Butts Hanging Out With Naughty Bits Covered With a Piece of Tape Hour (not that any of us minded), but I think that was already taken by a show on Nickelodeon. It was quite the sight to see either the Battle Captain or NCOIC scramble for the remote when they thought someone who might be offended was coming to the TOC...don't know if they ever got into trouble for watching such unprofessional things, I hope they didn't.

Seeing this picture brought back a bunch of memories so totally unrelated to two beautiful women in the sand, it borders on the strange. Funny how the mind works.

ETADIK Training

CNN goes behind the scenes with the US ARMY Special Forces to cover the 18B Weapons training.

WARNING! This video is intended for mature audiences only, viewer discretion is advised

America, F#@K YEAH!

It's called history, read some sometime.

If You Were A Hot Dog And You Were Starving, Would You Eat Yourself?

I know I would, and I'd be delicious...with relish and brown mustard, yum!



Nothing funnier than bored soldiers. In this case we have a guy imitating Will Farrel, imitating the late Chicago Cubs announcer Harry Carey.

H/T Pat Dollard & The Jihadi Killer Hour

Been There...Seen That.

This is one of those cartoons that is funny because it's true...





For more stuff such as this go to Lawndarts.

How to Get Through an 8 Hour Patrol

H/T Last of the Few

Why The F#$K Not?

Exactly, why shouldn't you wear a shirt with "will kill for oil" emblazoned on it? Even though you wouldn't, or maybe you already have...or think you have. I'm mean why wouldn't you, other than for reasons of good taste?

I mean, that's what "they" think anyway. Even though, it would be fun to see the looks on their smug faces when they read that one.

For the humor impaired, it's called a joke. Maybe not a good one, but a joke none the less.


This is a shirt available for purchase at the website of Pat Dollard.

I'm sure it will soon be on the list of banned shirts for wear in Iraq.


That I would probably agree with. It isn't the most culturally sensitive thing I've ever seen. But if you supporters of all the amendments to the Constitution want to wear one...feel free.





Here's a joke from the other side... you know, the guys who don't particularly care for the POTUS or the way he's run the war.

The really funny thing about this...is the irony.

By the way this was one of the tamer examples. If you are offended by Bush=Nazi imagery, the F Bomb or stuff like that don't go THERE.

I actually own the Rummy print...I know money in the pocket of dirty filthy hippies, but hey, I find it inspirational. And maybe this whole capitalism thing will catch on.

Thanks to reader Kath...

For leading me to this BLOG, called Daniel's Big Trip, it's the diary and thoughts of former AH-64 pilot who lost his arm in a crash in Afghanistan, who's now on a trip across the USA.

He has a post up about "the nickle ride". That is the first ride anyone who goes through flight training receives. It's a nickle ride because it isn't graded and it only costs you a nickle like the mechanical horse outside the H.E.B..

The first flight you take in flight school is commonly known as the “Nickel Flight”. This is because it is ungraded, reminiscent of the little nickel rides in front of a grocery store, and a way for underpaid instructor pilots to make a little money on the side. That first day we met our instructor pilots, mostly a crusty bunch of ex-Vietnam guys who have more time preflighting than I had years on earth. My guy however was a mid thirties former Blackhawk pilot named Jim (we used his last name, but I’m leaving that out.) Jim was a laid back guy with a good healthy perverted sense of humor, and I knew we’d get along just fine. Also along was my “stick buddy” who is the person you learn to fly with. The helicopter we learned on was the TH-67 Bell Jet ranger, painted in bright orange colors to let all who gaze upon you know that you are a danger in the skies, and to avoid you at all costs.



The day starts with some classroom time, and Jim takes a bit to ask us some questions about the helicopter and its’ emergency procedures. We’d spent the last two weeks learning all there was to know about the working of this bird and I knew there was nothing I could be caught off guard about. The one thing they didn’t teach me that I quickly mastered was “the blank stare” which I gave a lot those first few days. Apparently there was a lot I didn’t know or remember… After a while Jim got tired of asking Amy and I random questions about such complicated things as “how does the helicopter fly” only to be greeted with said blank stare, so we headed out to the flight line. The helicopters are parked all over the airfield in nice neat lines, and the most junior pilots get the ones farthest away, so we got the keys and logs and headed to our steed.

For the rest click HERE.

My experience was the same but different. In 1987 when I went through, ALL of the instructors were Vietnam Vets. I was lucky enough to get a guy named Leyland. His personality can be best illustrated by his favorite expression, "What are you trying to do, kill me?" and his technique for impressing the need for a rapid cross check of the instruments by banging me on the flight helmet with a pointer and then motioning to the instrument panel and saying, "attitude, airspeed" over and over again.

There wasn't a day that went by, until I took my Primary phase check ride (over 50 hours of flight training at that point), that I wasn't worried that by the end of the day I would be on the bus headed to FT Benning to become an 11B (infantryman). As I was what was called in those days high school to flight school (even though I had two years of college they still called us that...I guess community college to flight school just didn't have the same ring to it), I didn't already posses a skill (like the prior service Warrant Officer Candidates) so if I flunked out I was at the mercy of Uncle Sugar. As if I needed more motivation.

Somehow I made it through...even though it was uphill both ways to class, and we had to walk...in the snow ...in Alabama ...because it was harder when I went through.

RUMINT

I aim to please...so by request here's a BOB on the FOB cartoon

More Motivation

For more like this go to HERE

RAF Queen

Found at Last of the Few




After watching the above, I somehow don't think the following is quite as gay as I used to...




And for the love of GOD, it's just Race Bannon, not Dr. Race Bannon. Jonny Quest's dad was the doctor, Race was the badass pilot...geeze...amateurs.

Power Tools

Not Two Girls One Cup But... - Funny video clips are a click away

It's OK trust me...stay to the end.

From The Military Motivator

I have it on good authority that it beats walking...but it helps to have your helmet on...the one with the visor that works.

Someone didn't turn their TADS on!

HOOAH!

After I ragged on W. Thomas Smith Jr. over at The Tank he was gracious enough to say hello in the comments section of the post below.

Today he has a post about the Marines cry of OO-RAH! He also mentions the Army habit of saying HOOAH! Additionally he posts his puzzlement at the expression and wonders about it's origins.

Personally, I am repulsed by that expression. I once entered a test of wills with a Battalion commander who was talking to me about something...I forget what it was, I don't really think it was that important. It usually isn't.

The conversation went like this:
LTC: ...and then we will go out and execute blah, blah, blah (he actually said that!), HOOAH?
Me: Yes sir.
LTC: HOOAH?
Me: Yes sir, we'll do that.
LTC: HOOAH!
Me: I don't say that word sir.
LTC: HOOAH?
Me: exactly
LTC: HOOAH!
Me: To me, that word is the sound the mind makes when it slams shut...sir.
LTC: HOOAH!
Me: I'll see you later sir.
LTC: HOOAH!


Seriously, I've been in the Army 20 years now. When I was in flight school never heard that expression. Air Assault school never heard it. In the 90's it started creeping its way into the mainstream Army culture, I seem to recall hearing that it's beginnings were from somewhere near a place called Fayetteville, NC. There's always a paratrooper to blame if there's stupidity involved.

No matter, for once I'm with the Marines, they can have their OO-RAH. I don't care to be HOOAH. I don't care to hear HOOAH. For the life of me I can't understand why the Army with rich traditions (especially the CAVALRY) wants to invent crap like HOOAH and then turn around and ban REAL traditions like STETSONS and SPURS. HOOAH!

Sometimes You've Just Got To Laugh

Sometimes over here you have to find entertainment where you can. One of those unlikely places, for me at least, has been the Stars and Stripes letter to the editor section.

In OIF 2 I was entertained by letters written mostly by people serving in Kuwait, who complained loud and long about how they weren't being appreciated enough. Those letters were in turn answered by people serving in Iraq, who related tales of comrades being blown to bits by IEDs and how the people in Kuwait should shut the "F" up...and be happy with their lot in life.

During OIF 06-08, I'm entertained by letters demanding that soldiers who carry their M-9 pistols in a "Don Johnson" style holster, shouldn't. The reason being that soldiers who sport the "non-issue" holster are not practicing proper muzzle discipline.

Where to start...where to start?

First let me get this out of the way, "Don Johnson"? Who the hell references "Miami Vice". I wasn't a big fan of the TV show but I am fairly certain that the character being referred to did not wear a shoulder holster like the one pictured below.

For this and other fine holsters go to the Galco website

If Mr. Johnson did in fact wear a holster like that I apologize for my ignorance. In any event the use of the "Miami Vice" card to belittle a particular thing is the gun equivalent of using the word "Nazi" in a discussion about politics.

Getting back to carrying weapons, muzzle discipline etc...

If one weren't into buying a holster and wanted an issue holster for their M-9, Army aviators are issued a holster similar to the one in the picture above, but it is made out of a fire resistant material and is issued with the "Air Warrior" ensemble.

So if the Army issues it, it must be safe right? Not so fast, this is the same outfit that bought the Gamma Goat.

But actually I wonder if any of these goons who are using my oxygen and wasting electrons or God forbid even paper to complain about these holsters, has ever even held an M-9, let alone fired one?

It takes more than a few steps to fire an M-9 pistol. Demonstrator post!

ONE: Insert magazine with bullets installed into pistol. (PSSST! it's the empty well in the grip...no bullets go up and face forward...OK)

TWO: Pull back on the slide to place a round into the chamber...ready to be fired.

THREE: Place the ARM/SAFE switch to ARM (the red dot should be showing now)

FOUR: Aim and pull the trigger. (WOW that's really hard to pull the trigger...yeah that's because it's a double action trigger, it's actually easier if you pull the hammer back first and then pull the trigger otherwise it takes about twice the amount of energy to pull the trigger)

I've never ever heard of an M-9 going off by unless someone followed those steps. If I'm wrong please tell me.

Then we have the fact that on most FOBs weapons are not "supposed" to have a magazine in them and most certainly not "supposed" to have a round in the chamber. You can see the odds for a weapon being carried in a holster of that type going off are pretty much slim and none. But yet the letters appear and they are followed by rebuttals by gun aficionados who site this or that, or by soldiers who just love to stir the pot. And then finally the other day a Marine had to jump into the argument. Of course he first let us all know how the USMC was vastly superior to the Army before making his point about the holster and weapons safety in general.

On a side note, when I read that letter I could have sworn it was written by W. Thomas Smith Jr. (of The National Review's on-line column The Tank), it had all the earmarks, disdain for anything not associated with the Marines (I was embedded with the 82nd Airborne, good troops but not Marines; Sgt Joe Blow Marine graduated #1 in his Army Ranger school class, but he still prefers to be called by the tile of United States Marine or I ate some apple sauce in the DFAC at Camp Liberty but it was nowhere near as good as the apple sauce being served at Camp Falluja (I made that last one up but you get the drift)), and an overall superior haughty attitude as if he were casting pearls before swine.

Sometimes presentation is everything. Me personally I don't really care to be lectured to by someone who thinks they are better than me, who's doing all us poor Army saps a favor by letting us in on the superior Marine Corps way. God help you if you don't capitalize "marine" or you inadvertently call one of their medics, a medic. They can butcher Army terminology all day long and they don't give a care, but if one dares question the superiority of the USMC above all others Lord help you.

You are welcome to the fight brother, if you need help on the battlefield I am there for you. But give it a rest with telling everyone how great you are...or I will point my non-loaded, holstered M-9 muzzle right at you next time I'm standing in line at the DFAC.

Why Pulling Out Won't Work

We've all heard over the course of this long war...well at least since President Bush appeared on the deck of an aircraft carrier with a "mission accomplished" banner waving proudly in the sea breeze that we need to "pull out".

Being one of the many that are "in" right now, I think it really might be a good thing to discuss the merits and the down side of "pulling out".

"They" say if we "pull out" now then we won't have any problems in the future with our current partner.

Not so, according to "experts", "pulling out" is not a reliable method to achieve the desired result. In fact if one "pulls out" too early there is no real effect for anyone involved regardless of the effort expended. If one "pulls out" too late, you have a real mess on your hands or even worse a problem that could last years, sometimes as long as 18 or so. This leads to more problems with the partner than you may have had in the first place.

"They" say if we "pull out" then we won't have to expend all this wasted energy to a cause that is in effect usless.

Not so, because if we "pull out" before the desired conclusion, then we will just have to expend effort somewhere else either right away or at a later time. It only makes sence to stay in and finish what you started in the first place.

To "pull out" generally accomplishes nothing other than aggrivating all the parties involved and in the end causes more trouble than its worth.

It would be better to have a "plan" where everyone involved can get what they want and in the end, when a "plan" has been executed, the desired result can be achieved without "pulling out" too soon. Having a "plan" helps insure that all parties involved get what they really need. But having a plan also means that you act like an adult and be serious about what you are involved with.

Remember this isn't something you do just for fun, there are lives and futures involved here.

Pulling out isn't the answer...ask any un-wed teenage mother.

Patches, Patches, Patches

I spotted this story in Ares and brought to mind my patch collection...

I am known as a patch hound. That's the guy who goes to air shows and rather than looking at all the airplanes, tries to trade for patches from all the aircrews. I've been doing this rather geeky hobby for more years than I care to admit. The first patch I got that I was really proud of was when I was in high school. I sent a letter to the 64th Aggressor Squadron at Nellis Air Force Base, Nevada and asked if I could have one of their patches...oddly enough someone sent one. That was the beginning of a long and wallet sucking affair that continues to this day. Which brings me to this abomination...

Sorry, the patch doesn't seem to show up when I view the page...hopefully it will be there for you, it shows up when I compose the post. Maybe FOX is jamming the picture with some kind of high tech device that even the government doesn't know about, because it's in violation of copyright laws?

Anyway, if you can't see it, the patch depicts an enraged Homer Simpson yelling "You Sent Me To Afghanistan, You Bastards!" I would expect given the popularity of "The Simpsons" in the UK, this patch belongs to one of "them" or a really enthusiastic fan of "The Simpsons" (there are still people who are jacked up about "The Simpsons"?!?)

Why would I say that such a nicely rendered Homer Simpson is an abomination? Well, they ruined the joke. I have a patch that was and is still quite popular in Iraq...I bought it in '04 and it references a line that appeared in many many episodes of the popular cartoon South Park..."You Killed Kenny, You Bastards!" There is also a version for Afghanistan.

Now I will freely admit that the artist who did the Homer patch did a much better job than the guy who made the patch featuring Kyle...however, the patch has more meaning with Kyle than Homer...unless you just want to have Homer Simpson express your disgust with being sent to Afghanistan.

If that is in fact the case then mission accomplished and BRAVO!

What does this have to do with anything? Not a whole hell of a lot, expect to show that no matter where Soldiers, Sailors. Airmen and Marines go, we take our pop culture and our bitching with us. After all it is a Soldiers right to bitch...one of the few we still have.

Now if you want a patch...this is a patch!

H/T Ares

New Army Commercial

A new commercial for the Army...from "Family Guy"



Yeah...that pretty much sums up my Army experience.

Nurture versus Nature

Sorry I'm late getting to this one from the Military Motivator website.

Anyone who went through Army flight school in the late 80's can tell you about AO Vanguard and places like LZ Bush. Word spread quickly among the students that if during your LZ hopping experience, you navigated your way by certain places down by the Pea River, you might be able to see certain things. It was sort of a carrot to the IP's stick if you will.

As far as I know there were no similar incentives for the lady pilots and BlackHawk drivers amongst us...sorry. :-)

War Crime?

I have found evidence that the US Army is using torture against innocent Iraqis...

From http://www.us.army.mil/

Sgt. Tierney Nowland teaches the "Macarena" (a type of dance) to an Iraqi Soldier during a break from a cordon and search mission in Ameriyah, May 16. She is a combat cameraman with the 982nd Signal Company. (Photo by Spc. Elisha Dawkins)

THE HORROR!