Sunday, August 07, 2005

Nobody Asked Me, But...

Out on the highway, why are all these people with the Christian "fish" symbol cutting me off and generally driving like goons?

When I went to church, we were always told about "The Golden Rule". I guess that doesn't count if they think you're a heathen? Do they give special treatment to others who display Christian accoutrement's? Just wondering what the excuse might be for the decidedly un-Christian-like behavior.

While I'm on the driving kick...

What is it about that sign that reads, "Left Lane is For Passing Only" that people can't seem to understand?

Can these folks not see the forty car parade they are leading? Would it kill you to accelerate 2 miles an hour and quit flying formation with grandma doing 65 miles an hour in the right lane on the interstate? This type of behavior stands as a shining example of the "me-First" mentality that permeates our society today. I have read that some states are starting to ticket those who camp out in the left lane. TO that I say HOORAH!

What is it about being a professional athlete that divorces them from reality?

Be it the hockey player that tells us all to kiss his posterior if we the poor fan couldn't sympathize with his plight, or the baseball player who can't understand why the fans of his former team now boo him when he returns (especially since his reason for leaving was to get xx gazillion dollars instead for the measly x gazillion), the majority somehow loose the ability to reason when they reach the majors. Here's the first thing they should remember, "The customer is always right." Just so there's no mistake here, I'm the customer. If I want to boo...it's my right. I pay your salery...Mr. Moneybags the team owner is just the conduit, you clown. As long as I don't come onto the field or do other things that are frowned upon by modern society. I can boo, make signs, not go to the games or even turn off the TV. And then where would you be...idiot?

More teams play professional baseball than the Red Sox and the Yankees

I know this may come as news to ESPN and FOX networks, but not everyone wants to see those two teams each and every week. It seems to be a subset of the east coast disease, that affects mostly news and entertainment folks, who believe that if it doesn't happen in New York and its environs it's not worth covering or worrying about. It's called a national network because it's NATIONAL...look into it.

Finally...

Why do we have to call everyone who does something bad "Nazis"?

It seems to me that some people who trot out the phrase "Nazi" need to read a few books. George W Bush a Nazi? I don't think so. Saddam a Nazi? Not quite. Only the Nazis can reach true Nazi levels. Everyone in the political world needs to check fire on the hyperbole. Only a gulag is really a gulag. Keeping prisoners awake for 48 hours and adjusting the thermostat is not the same as taking people out and shooting them at dawn.

Anyone with any sense knows that the odds of Dictator X becoming the next Hitler are slim and none. Doesn't mean they aren't bad...it's just that the exaggeration in labeling people and acts actually diminishes their case instead of horrifying people. Anyone who isn't drinking Jim Jones' special Kool Aid know the odds of the President of the United States being a closet Nazi are pretty slim.

Instead of Nazis and Hitler, I propose we start using Carrot Top as the gold standard for badness. For example, Dictator X must be stopped or else he will become the next Carrot Top. Now I don't know about you, but that would move me to action. But then again nobody asked me...
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